Log the Fifthteenth - Captain Bonny
Well, it seemed that unless we were willing to kill every man-jack (and some of the wimmen and children too, if I know me crew) in Crystal Lake Town on the way to Moabs hidey-hole, it might be best to rescue the twisted old shamans boy and get shown the back door. Had we put it to a vote, perhaps the killing would have come out on top, but it seemed like a lot of work compared to a rescue mission so I exercised some leadership and called for a rescue. What the hell, if the rescue goes bad, maybe wed have to go with Plan A and massacre the town anyhow. Win-win situation, really.
I cant help but feel that all this jail-breaking we do is getting to be a habit. We oughta be pickier about our friends from now on, though. First a skinny pink-ape bookworm, then a bastard greenskin with delusions of grandeur, then a hundred year old undead former bastard turned insufferable do-gooder, and finally now the number one son of a gaggle of tree-dwelling sideshow attractions. A nice, single, elf princess looking for a charming sea-captain/warlock would be nice, Fenmarel. Just sayin.
Anyhow, plans are made. Mistress had some interesting ideas, most o which involved chaining us up. Not a bad idea, at least it fit her talents and interests. But unless you count overwhelming explosions, the best plans involve invisible aerial ogre-borne assaults, I reckon. And Im just the Captain to see such a plan through.
After some heavy spelling from yours truly, away we went, over the walls, in two ogre-fistfuls. Except Quartermaster Jee-to, as Mister Ogosh said hed rather nap in the grab-grass than lay hands on that orc-kisser. Ah, who can blame the lad.
We rendezvoused on the ledge around the temple-dome, figuring the poor mutant-boy would probably be held in the area, for easy sacrifice. Looks like theyre redecorating the dome, and theres some sort of religious hanky-panky going on inside. Silly buggers probably kissing a stone idol of Moabs barnacled arse or something. Fine by me, especially as a false god grants no spells, far as Ive heard. Straightening these benighted primitive pink apes out should be easier than those Yarash loving scum, thinks I.
Were peering in the windows, hoping they havent tossed freak-boy into the lake yet, when someone notices a bamboo prison just behind the temple, with a decidedly post-human prisoner in it. Fortunately, theres just the one, so figuring out which one we want isnt subject to much debate. Unless theyve already tossed the one we want into the lake, in which case the mutants should have given us a better description of their little lost lamb.
So, theres only about 7 guards nearby, and as a group, were about as quiet as a bell-peddlar having a fit. So I sends the sneaky buggers of my command crew to fix the bars quiet like while the rest of us try to stand still without any conversation. I spice up the deal with a little distraction enchantment Id been working on, so the guards are pretty much marooned when Mister Ogosh twists an opening into the cage wall, and our target shoots through. Oh, our target looked like a human bent into a dog shape like clay. Now, his father looked like a drowned spider with five eyes poked out, so Im guessing the boy took after the mother, who mustve been a real schnauzer.
The quiet team apparently explained things pretty good to Dogboy, as he played along pretty good. I watched him sailing off, presumably in Mister Ogoshs steady grip, and gave the guards a taste of my spider curse to keep their minds off of their longbows. The withdrawal seemed to going smoothly (hard to tell when everybodys invisible) until some female temple flunky ran out, and cancelled my hard-conjured web. This was a little more spellpower than Id expected out of these primitive screwheads, so either Moab became a deity, or these short-timers have had a religious reformation. Useful to know.
Somehow resisting the urge to blast her with all the pyrotechnics at my disposal from the safety of my improved invisibility, I flew off, after determining there was no immediate pursuit.
It was back to the tree village, for another vegetarian feast, and of course, the heartfelt gratitude of all. Living in trees, vegetarian living, these mutants werent half bad. Born human, turned animal, and hearts of proper elves.
After telling us that the town dwellers religion had finally found some teeth (thanks for yesterdays news, chief) the chief had Dogboy show us to the entrance of the escape tunnel that the chief had virtually no memory of escaping from.
Dogboy would have nothing to do with the cave beyond showing us where is was, and it probably had something to do with his extremely powerful nose, and the fact that the cave smelled like Jee-tos cabin after Oyster-Tuna Chili night. Speaking of Jee-to, he began to rant about how this cave must be filled with stirges, so he doused himself in that cheap rum he likes to swill, and tried to talk the rest of us into following his lead. He kept saying the smell of rum would keep the little buggers off of us. I just figured that if stirges had a sense of smell, Jee-to had nothing to fear anyway, and he might as well saved his grog. A decision that would have tragic consequences, as we shall see.
Poor Mister Ogosh, we found some more narrow tunnels. If nothing else will get him on a slimming diet, these caverns will.
Anyhow, once into the stink, the caverns were clearly pretty much natural, if narrow. They meandered until they widened, into a cavern honeycombed with smaller tunnels. Rats, says Mister Kenby, our zoological expert and exterminator extraordinaire. Keep quiet, and dont hang around, or there could be trouble. Mistress even came up with a subtle spell of calming, a little music to soothe the savage beasts, as it were. Shes a strange one, but an enthusiastic hand on the whip.
Anyway, the quick and quiet approach seems to be working, until poor Mister Jee-tos turn to traverse the cave came. Poor devil, I can still hear the screams. Mister Kenby figures the sweet smell of rum is what drove en mad, and caused them to swarm our poor, lamented quartermaster. Kenby, Lucky, Mistress, Ogosh, Spaako, and even Lucian tried to rescue our champion of Harrimast, but to no avail. There were just too many rats for anyone to kill, and all they got was savage, but tiny, bites for their troubles. Finally, to stop the poor, screaming cleric from being savaged to death by rats, we withdrew and I cleansed the room with blazing hellfire. Alas, we had waited too long, and Mister Jee-to succumbed to the cleansing fire, and was beyond saving. As Captain, felt I should say a few words. Then, we had a moment of silence, which lasted maybe thirty seconds, and then we fell to stripping the body. Our attitude was subdued, and we hardly bickered at all as we cut the rings from his fingers and divvied up his belongings. We must remember to toss his carcass in the ocean should we come this way again.
Some more infernal looping, and more rat-swarm holes, (although they seemed quiet either they had been in on the explosion, or had gone that way for BBQ after the fact) until we found a shaft heading straight down. Upon determination that it was deeper than about 60 feet, we proceeded onward. We found a larger cave, with a pool of water and an eye-blistering stench. (Alas, poor Jee-to, it were not you, this time)
Apparently, twelve foot tall ravening mutant two-headed giants are very stealthy, for there were three of them in that cave, and they got the drop on even the keen senses of Mister Lucius. A fierce combat broke out, occasionally punctuated by blistering explosions until the party was too close for comfort. We battled for our very lives, as Mister Lucius and Mistress were snatched from the very ground, and Spaako was clubbed nearly senseless by a single gnarled treetrunk. Or perhaps it clubbed some sense into him, as he tried to retreat at that point. Hard to tell, with greenskins. Anyhow, between Mister Lucius low blows, the good Capns patented magical havoc, and Mister ! Kenby seemingly losing his mind in a singleminded assault on the massive hellbeasts, they were laid low. Jee-tos loss was mourned all the more, now, as some of the battle damage seemed grave.
Well, at this point the cavern complex had run out of options, except down. The only portion of the caves that remained unexplored (barring rat tunnels, which even Milo Copperpot couldnt have scurried down) was the deep shaft down. Of course, to reach the bottom of Crystal Lake, wed have to have gone down anyway.
As Mistress and Mister Lucius peered over the edge, judging its scalability, I gave Mistress a firm push into the void. Well, it just so happens Id been working on a new trick, but Id be damned if I were going to try it on meself first. So down goes Mistress, but the trick worked fine, and she fell soft as a drifting feather. Into a nest of snakes that saw us to be snack-sized. Fortunately, the falling spell worked well enough for all of us, and we dove to her rescue. Except Mister Ogosh, who was at the top holding the rope. I wasnt sure my new trick worked on him, and I didnt want the big lug falling atop of me. Plus, if I were out of tricks for the return trip, that rope and Hanss thick arms would be the next best exit.
Past the cavern of the expired serpents, whose tunnels seemed to join the rat holes a hundred feet above. Ah! The rats! Mister Ogosh! Well, actually, I suppose the rats had easier meat, with Jee-to, three Ettins, and a couple hundred of their near relatives all lying about up there. Oh well, the tunnel got real tight like in spots down here, so we couldnt bring him with us anyhow.
We crossed a raging stream a little ways on, with some clever thinking, Mistress second best traveling whip, and another of my store of tricks. We halted at that point, as Mister Lucius fancied he heard footsteps behind us.
I cant help but feel that all this jail-breaking we do is getting to be a habit. We oughta be pickier about our friends from now on, though. First a skinny pink-ape bookworm, then a bastard greenskin with delusions of grandeur, then a hundred year old undead former bastard turned insufferable do-gooder, and finally now the number one son of a gaggle of tree-dwelling sideshow attractions. A nice, single, elf princess looking for a charming sea-captain/warlock would be nice, Fenmarel. Just sayin.
Anyhow, plans are made. Mistress had some interesting ideas, most o which involved chaining us up. Not a bad idea, at least it fit her talents and interests. But unless you count overwhelming explosions, the best plans involve invisible aerial ogre-borne assaults, I reckon. And Im just the Captain to see such a plan through.
After some heavy spelling from yours truly, away we went, over the walls, in two ogre-fistfuls. Except Quartermaster Jee-to, as Mister Ogosh said hed rather nap in the grab-grass than lay hands on that orc-kisser. Ah, who can blame the lad.
We rendezvoused on the ledge around the temple-dome, figuring the poor mutant-boy would probably be held in the area, for easy sacrifice. Looks like theyre redecorating the dome, and theres some sort of religious hanky-panky going on inside. Silly buggers probably kissing a stone idol of Moabs barnacled arse or something. Fine by me, especially as a false god grants no spells, far as Ive heard. Straightening these benighted primitive pink apes out should be easier than those Yarash loving scum, thinks I.
Were peering in the windows, hoping they havent tossed freak-boy into the lake yet, when someone notices a bamboo prison just behind the temple, with a decidedly post-human prisoner in it. Fortunately, theres just the one, so figuring out which one we want isnt subject to much debate. Unless theyve already tossed the one we want into the lake, in which case the mutants should have given us a better description of their little lost lamb.
So, theres only about 7 guards nearby, and as a group, were about as quiet as a bell-peddlar having a fit. So I sends the sneaky buggers of my command crew to fix the bars quiet like while the rest of us try to stand still without any conversation. I spice up the deal with a little distraction enchantment Id been working on, so the guards are pretty much marooned when Mister Ogosh twists an opening into the cage wall, and our target shoots through. Oh, our target looked like a human bent into a dog shape like clay. Now, his father looked like a drowned spider with five eyes poked out, so Im guessing the boy took after the mother, who mustve been a real schnauzer.
The quiet team apparently explained things pretty good to Dogboy, as he played along pretty good. I watched him sailing off, presumably in Mister Ogoshs steady grip, and gave the guards a taste of my spider curse to keep their minds off of their longbows. The withdrawal seemed to going smoothly (hard to tell when everybodys invisible) until some female temple flunky ran out, and cancelled my hard-conjured web. This was a little more spellpower than Id expected out of these primitive screwheads, so either Moab became a deity, or these short-timers have had a religious reformation. Useful to know.
Somehow resisting the urge to blast her with all the pyrotechnics at my disposal from the safety of my improved invisibility, I flew off, after determining there was no immediate pursuit.
It was back to the tree village, for another vegetarian feast, and of course, the heartfelt gratitude of all. Living in trees, vegetarian living, these mutants werent half bad. Born human, turned animal, and hearts of proper elves.
After telling us that the town dwellers religion had finally found some teeth (thanks for yesterdays news, chief) the chief had Dogboy show us to the entrance of the escape tunnel that the chief had virtually no memory of escaping from.
Dogboy would have nothing to do with the cave beyond showing us where is was, and it probably had something to do with his extremely powerful nose, and the fact that the cave smelled like Jee-tos cabin after Oyster-Tuna Chili night. Speaking of Jee-to, he began to rant about how this cave must be filled with stirges, so he doused himself in that cheap rum he likes to swill, and tried to talk the rest of us into following his lead. He kept saying the smell of rum would keep the little buggers off of us. I just figured that if stirges had a sense of smell, Jee-to had nothing to fear anyway, and he might as well saved his grog. A decision that would have tragic consequences, as we shall see.
Poor Mister Ogosh, we found some more narrow tunnels. If nothing else will get him on a slimming diet, these caverns will.
Anyhow, once into the stink, the caverns were clearly pretty much natural, if narrow. They meandered until they widened, into a cavern honeycombed with smaller tunnels. Rats, says Mister Kenby, our zoological expert and exterminator extraordinaire. Keep quiet, and dont hang around, or there could be trouble. Mistress even came up with a subtle spell of calming, a little music to soothe the savage beasts, as it were. Shes a strange one, but an enthusiastic hand on the whip.
Anyway, the quick and quiet approach seems to be working, until poor Mister Jee-tos turn to traverse the cave came. Poor devil, I can still hear the screams. Mister Kenby figures the sweet smell of rum is what drove en mad, and caused them to swarm our poor, lamented quartermaster. Kenby, Lucky, Mistress, Ogosh, Spaako, and even Lucian tried to rescue our champion of Harrimast, but to no avail. There were just too many rats for anyone to kill, and all they got was savage, but tiny, bites for their troubles. Finally, to stop the poor, screaming cleric from being savaged to death by rats, we withdrew and I cleansed the room with blazing hellfire. Alas, we had waited too long, and Mister Jee-to succumbed to the cleansing fire, and was beyond saving. As Captain, felt I should say a few words. Then, we had a moment of silence, which lasted maybe thirty seconds, and then we fell to stripping the body. Our attitude was subdued, and we hardly bickered at all as we cut the rings from his fingers and divvied up his belongings. We must remember to toss his carcass in the ocean should we come this way again.
Some more infernal looping, and more rat-swarm holes, (although they seemed quiet either they had been in on the explosion, or had gone that way for BBQ after the fact) until we found a shaft heading straight down. Upon determination that it was deeper than about 60 feet, we proceeded onward. We found a larger cave, with a pool of water and an eye-blistering stench. (Alas, poor Jee-to, it were not you, this time)
Apparently, twelve foot tall ravening mutant two-headed giants are very stealthy, for there were three of them in that cave, and they got the drop on even the keen senses of Mister Lucius. A fierce combat broke out, occasionally punctuated by blistering explosions until the party was too close for comfort. We battled for our very lives, as Mister Lucius and Mistress were snatched from the very ground, and Spaako was clubbed nearly senseless by a single gnarled treetrunk. Or perhaps it clubbed some sense into him, as he tried to retreat at that point. Hard to tell, with greenskins. Anyhow, between Mister Lucius low blows, the good Capns patented magical havoc, and Mister ! Kenby seemingly losing his mind in a singleminded assault on the massive hellbeasts, they were laid low. Jee-tos loss was mourned all the more, now, as some of the battle damage seemed grave.
Well, at this point the cavern complex had run out of options, except down. The only portion of the caves that remained unexplored (barring rat tunnels, which even Milo Copperpot couldnt have scurried down) was the deep shaft down. Of course, to reach the bottom of Crystal Lake, wed have to have gone down anyway.
As Mistress and Mister Lucius peered over the edge, judging its scalability, I gave Mistress a firm push into the void. Well, it just so happens Id been working on a new trick, but Id be damned if I were going to try it on meself first. So down goes Mistress, but the trick worked fine, and she fell soft as a drifting feather. Into a nest of snakes that saw us to be snack-sized. Fortunately, the falling spell worked well enough for all of us, and we dove to her rescue. Except Mister Ogosh, who was at the top holding the rope. I wasnt sure my new trick worked on him, and I didnt want the big lug falling atop of me. Plus, if I were out of tricks for the return trip, that rope and Hanss thick arms would be the next best exit.
Past the cavern of the expired serpents, whose tunnels seemed to join the rat holes a hundred feet above. Ah! The rats! Mister Ogosh! Well, actually, I suppose the rats had easier meat, with Jee-to, three Ettins, and a couple hundred of their near relatives all lying about up there. Oh well, the tunnel got real tight like in spots down here, so we couldnt bring him with us anyhow.
We crossed a raging stream a little ways on, with some clever thinking, Mistress second best traveling whip, and another of my store of tricks. We halted at that point, as Mister Lucius fancied he heard footsteps behind us.
posted by groodude | 3:58 p.m.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home